Am I Crazy?

I want my husband to go a step furthur. I don't want him to just apologize to me. Here's the deal. My husband claims that he didn't just lie to me. He says that he lied to the woman he was having a relationship with. Not only did he tell her things about our relationship and me that he had NO BUSINESS telling her, but he flat out LIED to her about parts of our relationship. (Either that or he really does feel that way...which would mean he's still lying to me.) I choose to believe that he's telling me the truth when he says that he lied to her. I have to start trusting somewhere. For my own sanity, it has to be there. Still, he lied to this woman. He led her to believe she was dealing with a man who (while being so incredible) had a woman who was less than so. Not only that, he led her to believe that at least she was dealing with someone who wasn't happy. Granted, that still doesn't justify her having an affair with a married man. Did she see it that way? Does she realize she ALSO had an affair? Or does she just think she had a friendship with a man who happened to be married? I am of the opinion that if a man is married and you are having a relationship as they did then you are having an affair with that man...whether or not you yourself are actually married. He deceived this woman. I believe he needs to apologize to her for doing so (with me there, of course...looking "HOT" no less...sorry...just being totally honest here). Why should he get off thinking he only has to come clean with me? Why should he get to think SHE still thinks he's the perfect guy with all the problems. Why does he still get to think that he has this potential back-up based on the lies he's told? NO! He needs to "come clean" with her. COMPLETELY! He needs to tell her exactly who she was dealing with...so neither one of them is tempted to go back to the other again in the future! I think she also needs to hear (from either me or him), "You had an affair with my husband and I ALSO deserve an apology for that". I have received an apology from my husband and believe I also deserve one from you. I realize I may never get it, but I am asking for it no less. You should know that when you meet with a married man with the intention of having sex with him then you are having AN AFFAIR!!!!! Let's call a spade a spade, please. This is NOT a game. This is NOT fun. This is a MARRIED man...WITH CHILDREN!!!!! These are LIVES!!! REAL PEOPLE!! Plus, I think both of them (my husband and this other woman) feel like they had found "perfection" in each other. Both of them found someone who could be their "everything"...without any real commitment, obligation, responsibility, or accountability. Neither one of them expected anything BUT perfection out of the other...and both knew the relationship would go no where...except to sex...and this "friendship" relationship. How perfect. They could have all that. And their "real" lives with boyfriends, wives, and children on the side. Except that my husband wasn't giving her himself. He was lying. I know that for a FACT in some of what he was saying because it involved me and I was there...so I know the truth. Regarding other stuff he was saying (about his feelings), he may or may not have been lying. I don't know. He tells me he was just trying to make her feel good. I wonder if he was thinking at the time about how his making HER feel good would make ME (his actual wife) feel? Obviously not. Because I certainly do NOT feel good. No matter WHAT he says to me. I have a feeling if HE was lying to her that she was probably doing the same to him. I mean, seriously, WHAT kind of woman has a relationship with a man whom she KNOWS is married...WITH CHILDREN????? I love Jesus so I won't use the words that I'm asking God daily to remove from my head in regards to what I think about this woman. Suffice it say they're not nice...or Godly. I find it incredibly ironic that this woman used to be in ministry at the church which we are currently attending. I hear the terms on which she left the ministry and the church were not pleasant. I wonder who she slept with. I'm sorry. There's one of those unGodly thoughts coming out. So, am I crazy? I wonder how long she has known who I am and looked at me...knowing she was having an affair with my husband. Did she feel any guilt when she saw us? Did she ever think about what she was doing and wonder if it was wrong? Now, I want to hold HER just as accountable as my husband! I want to look her in the face and say YOU HURT ME, TOO! You made a decision that is DESTROYING our family! YOU have contributed to tearing me apart! You need to stay away from men who are married. I know you can't control WHAT men tell you, but when one TELLS YOU THEY ARE MARRIED, you can make the decision to STAY AWAY!!!!! And I want to hear...I'm sorry. I don't know if it will make me feel any better, really. But I still want to hear it. I know this will probably never happen...for SO many more reasons than one. That doesn't mean I don't wish it would. Am I crazy?